For the past week, Yunho had done either one of two things. He had either told everyone stories about Jaejoong (Jaejoong being either the victor or the saviour) and glared at Sungmin or told everyone not to mention Jaejoong and glared at Sungmin.
Yoochun and Junsu only were around at dinnertime so neither of them really saw what was happening during the day. Despite the uneven number, they still took the night shift in pairs, at the request of Yunho. They also were putting in new motion detectors and heat sensors around the house so they didn’t see anything either. They only met with the others at dinnertime where they would either hear stories about Jaejoong or know not to mention his name.
Kyuhyun, as much as he loved Sungmin, had to work during most of the day for Jiyong and Seunghyun who was recovering nicely and due to leave the hospital in a week after the doctors decided no dangerous blood clots would be formed near the brain or heart. He had taken up residence in his office and was working to balance the finances and expenses of KP Productions. So he didn’t see what was happening either after work had poured in on him.
Changmin was usually downstairs, reinstalling computer security, criminal profiles, and databases into the newly moved computers. He was now running all the electronic protective equipment, making sure none of the electronics were going to be attacked by malicious viruses. The hacker/decoder team was still put into the basement because of the capacity of space the computers took up so Changmin was oblivious as well.
Minwoong had put in a request for new decoder software because this code was really starting to interest him. He wanted to know if it was a simpler code instead of the more complex codes he usually had to decode. He was still trying to crack the code and had come awfully close once but still hadn’t managed to crack it. Still, he was the only one who had managed to notice that Yunho was becoming increasingly cold towards his adorable hyung.
Being Sungmin and slightly oblivious, the bunny boy failed to notice the hostility that Yunho had towards him. Instead, he felt grateful that Jaejoong would be so self sacrificing and thanked him for giving the others the opportunity to live. Minwoong usually saw this and knew that Sungmin was truly a kind-hearted person.
But he was troubled. Yunho’s obvious dislike of Sungmin didn’t just appear randomly out of the blue. Minwoong knew that Yunho blamed Sungmin for the loss of Jaejoong. He could feel it coming from his “appa” in waves. And he didn’t like it. But what could he do? He was the magnae, the youngest out of the seven of them there. A magnae was not an ideal rank to be.
He sighed as he watched Yunho gaze coldly at Sungmin who was talking animatedly to Changmin who had just come up from the basement to get instant noodles. Instead of doing something about the situation, he walked into the room and sat down on the floor, and started chatting to Yunho, hoping to turn those icy eyes on himself rather than Sungmin.
~₴~≠~₴~≠~
Yunho was very…..emotional. Half the time at night, he would be staring at the other side of the bed, wondering if Jaejoong really was gone. Then he would be crying because his heart felt empty without Jaejoong to fill the hole.
He still blamed Sungmin for what happened. And why not? It was his fault they were there. If he didn’t exist, there would be no gang after him. If he didn’t exist, then none of this wouldn’t have happened in the first place and wouldn’t the world be a lot better off?
He had felt the impulse for a few days to let Sungmin know exactlywhat he thought of the elder male. He thought about going through with this plan and debated confronting Sungmin alone or in front of the rest of the members of the household. He decided on alone, that way there would be no one to comfort him. And it hurts more when you’re all alone.
~₴~≠~₴~≠~
Sungmin was happily preparing dinner that night when Yunho decided to confront him. He was preparing vegetables when Yunho came up behind him and waited until Sungmin noticed that he was there. He was standing behind the elder male for a good three minutes before Sungmin turned around and was scared half to death.
“Yunho! I didn’t see you there, you scared me,” Sungmin gasped. He had nearly dropped the vegetables in his surprise and quickly checked to make sure that he still had all the food he had been holding.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Yunho apologized, an undertone of sarcasm just faintly showing through.
“Don’t worry about it,” Sungmin waved his hand in a dismissive manner. Yunho felt a wave of anger rise inside of him. How could he be so carefree when Jaejoong was dead? Yunho intended to take that smile off of Sungmin’s face.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m preparing dinner. Do you want to help?” Sungmin asked.
“No, that was usually Jaejoong’s…..area of expertise.”
“Oh, right. Sorry.”
“You should be,” Yunho whispered. Sungmin looked at him confusedly.
“What? I didn’t catch that.”
“You should be sorry,” Yunho repeated, his voice louder this time.
“What do you mean?” Sungmin asked, eyes widening in shock and fear.
“You do realize right?”
“Realize what?”
“Don’t act all innocent,” Yunho snarled, “you know perfectly well that it’s your fault that Jaejoong died.”
“What?”
“If you weren’t alive, then Jaejoong would still be here right now. He would be alive and well if you weren’t here. But you had to exist right? You had to survive. And then you killed Jaejoong. It’s your fault, Sungmin. It’s all your fault. How does it feel? To be a murderer? Does it hurt?” Yunho asked, his voice cold.
“…I…I…” Sungmin stammered. His thoughts were swirling around his head. To be accused directly was something he had had to experience before but to be accused of being a murderer was making him feel dizzy.
“Good. Cause it should,” Yunho growled before turning around and leaving the kitchen. Despite his thoughts, he felt worse than he had before. He shook off the feeling and went into his room.
~₴~≠~₴~≠~
Sungmin stared after Yunho’s retreat. His eyes were wide and he couldn’t grasp the thoughts in his head. Was he really to blame? Was it really his fault? Was he really Jaejoong’s killer? Was he not supposed to exist? Sungmin stared at the open door. He blinked slowly, trying to get his thoughts in order.
Minwoong had accidentally walked into the kitchen via another door while Yunho’s confrontation was going on. He had hid outside, listening to Yunho’s accusation. Now he was looking at Sungmin’s reaction and he didn’t like it.
The elder male was standing there, staring into space, the most breaking expression on his face. Minwoong wondered if he was going to cry. He debated walking out from his hiding place and going to comfort his hyung. He watched for a minute more before walking into the kitchen, smiling brightly, hoping to comfort Sungmin.
“Sungmin-hyung, do you need any help preparing the meal?” Minwoong asked cheerfully, hoping his tactics would work. Sungmin snapped out of his daze and looked at Minwoong, smiling brightly.
“No, it’s okay, Minwoongie. You can keep working on your codes. Dinner will be ready in a minute,” Sungmin smiled, brandishing the vegetables he was holding.
“If you say so hyung,” Minwoong looked doubtfully at the smaller man. Sungmin nodded and turned away. Minwoong got a drink and then left the kitchen, turning back to see if Sungmin really was okay. His hyung was standing at the counter, staring at the wall, the washed vegetables sitting in front of him.
That night, Minwoong was the only one who noticed that the vegetables were salty. Yunho hadn’t come down to dinner, claiming he felt ill. Kyuhyun was tired from working and Yoochun and Junsu were having too much fun throwing their food at each other to notice the taste. And Minwoong was the only one to notice that Sungmin barely touched his food that night.
Three days later, nothing had changed. If anything, Sungmin had gotten more depressed than ever, his movements becoming lethargic and uneven. He really was wondering if he was to blame for the death of Jaejoong. It haunted his thoughts and some part of him really did believe that he was to blame.
Minwoong had watched him for long enough and decided to take action. But he knew that anything he would say would go in one ear and out the other. So he decided to go directly to someone who could make people listen to him, no matter the circumstances. He went to Kyuhyun. He was currently standing outside Kyuhyun’s office door, gathering the courage to hand the problem to Kyuhyun whom he hoped wouldn’t blow it all out of proportion because of his protective nature. He knocked tentatively on the door.
“Come in!” Kyuhyun called from the inside.
“Hi, Kyuhyun-hyung,” Minwoong greeted the elder male. Kyuhyun looked up and smiled.
“Oh hello, Minwoong. I thought you might be Sungmin,” Kyuhyun smiled. “What’s on your mind?”
“I actually came to talk to you about Sungmin,” Minwoong started, nervous about how to begin. Kyuhyun’s eyes met his and he stood up from his desk.
“Is something wrong with Sungmin?” Kyuhyun asked, worry showing through his eyes. Minwoong began to shake his head and then stopped.
“Yes and no. Please sit down, Kyuhyun-hyung. Hear me out okay? Don’t go running off and making assumptions. Just listen first and then you can do what you like,” Minwoong began, knowing how he was going to start now.
“Okay, tell me what’s going on,” Kyuhyun sat down and motioned for Minwoong to pull up a chair.
“Have you been spending time with Sungmin-hyung lately?” Minwoong asked.
“No, that’s why I hoped you were him. So I could spend a little time with my husband. I feel guilty for leaving him alone.”
“Then you probably didn’t notice that he’s become depressed and quiet the past three days.”
“Minnie’s depressed?! What happened?!” Kyuhyun nearly jumped out of his chair. He couldn’t believe how unobservant he was.
“Calm down, Kyuhyun-hyung. I was just going to explain that to you. Sungmin-hyung is depressed because I think he’s blaming himself for Jaejoong’s death,” Minwoong explained.
“What?! Why? He wasn’t the one who fired the shot,” Kyuhyun protested. Minwoong nodded.
“You know that and I know that but Yunho-appa doesn’t know it. Or he does but he doesn’t want to admit it.”
“Yunho? What does he have to do with this?”
“He blames Sungmin-hyung for Jaejoong-umma’s death.”
“WHAT?!”
“He confronted Sungmin-hyung about it and accused him of being Jaejoong’s true killer. He said that if Sungmin-hyung didn’t exist then Jaejoong would still be alive. He asked Sungmin what it felt like to be Jaejoong’s killer and I think Sungmin-hyung’s really wondering if he is. He’s gotten very depressed and quiet the past three days. Yunho-hyung isn’t helping by glaring at him every opportunity he gets.”
“Yunho-hyung….said that?” Kyuhyun asked in disbelief.
“Yeah, he did. I think he’s really upset over losing Jaejoong. He’s just getting out his feelings by blaming others. Sungmin’s the easiest target because that’s why we’re all here,” Minwoong looked down at his hands.
“Where’s Sungmin now?” Kyuhyun asked, anger burning throughout his body.
“He’s talking with Changmin about the codes which I have to get back to,” the youngest male informed him.
“Thanks, Minwoong. I’ll take this up with Yunho-hyung,” Kyuhyun smiled at the youngest officer. Minwoong grinned back and then walked out of the office. Kyuhyun turned back to his computer and frowned. If Sungmin was talking to Changmin then he could bet that Yunho was in his room.
He pushed his chair back from his desk and got up. He walked out of the room and down the hall. He climbed the stairs and strode towards Yunho’s room. He knew exactly what he was going to say to the police officer. He stopped in front of the door and knocked loudly.
“Yunho-hyung?” Kyuhyun called.
“Yes?” Came the reply.
“Can I come in?”
“Yes, you can come in,” the door opened and Kyuhyun walked in. Yunho turned to look at him and smiled.
“What did you come for?”
“Why did you say those things to Sungmin?” Kyuhyun asked, not bothering with pleasantries.
“What?” Yunho looked confused.
“I’m asking you why you told Sungmin he was to blame for Jaejoong’s death,” Kyuhyun repeated with coldness. Yunho turned to look at the window.
“I told him because it’s true. He is the reason my Jaejoong is gone. If he wasn’t here, a gang wouldn’t be after him and we wouldn’t be here in the first place,” Yunho answered.
“That is the most ridiculous piece of shit I have heard in a long time. Sungmin isn’t to blame for this. You’re just blaming him because he’s the easiest to pin what happened on. I know what you’re feeling,” Kyuhyun said softly. Yunho turned to look at him.
“What do you know? Have you ever lost someone like that?” Yunho shot back.
“Yeah, I have actually,” Kyuhyun retorted. Yunho took a step back, surprised.
“Who then?”
“Sungmin.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, Sungmin is alive,” Yunho glared at the younger male.
“I have noticed. I’m grateful for it every day. But the reason I’m grateful for it was because I thought he had died. I felt like my world had ended. I wanted to die, to be with him. I wanted him back with me and I blamed everyone around me, including myself. I asked myself why I hadn’t stayed at home, why we hadn’t searched harder. I asked myself everything. I was dying without him. I had no purpose without Sungmin,” Kyuhyun’s eyes bored into Yunho’s.
“But he survived.”
“I found that out later. But for three weeks, I didn’t move, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t want to do anything but see Sungmin again. I can’t understand your feelings fully because Sungmin survived. But I understand your grief. And I want you to apologize to my husband. Because I allow no one, not even friends, to speak to Sungmin the way you did.”
“Why should I?” Yunho asked harshly but his anger was abating.
“Because you won’t feel truly at peace until you realize that Jaejoong wouldn’t have wanted you to become like this. He asked you to take care of his children right? So do it,” Kyuhyun crossed his arms. Yunho stared at him.
“What?”
“You heard me. Go apologize to Sungmin and maybe that will help you realize that you’re disregarding your promise to Jaejoong. Do you really think that Jaejoong would be proud of you right now?” Kyuhyun asked. He didn’t wait for an answer; he pushed Yunho out the door and to the stairs.
Yunho and Kyuhyun walked down and judging by the sound of the conversation, Changmin and Sungmin were in the kitchen, where all of this had begun. Yunho walked forwards tentatively. He was feeling almost scared to face Sungmin. Something inside of him told him that it was okay but something else told him to run. He chose to go with the first feeling.
“Changminnie, do you mind if I speak to Sungmin privately for a minute?” Yunho asked walking in. Changmin shook his head and bade Sungmin farewell. The elder man looked at Yunho fearfully.
“Yes?” Sungmin asked quietly.
“I wanted to apologize….for what I said…..I didn’t mean to blame you….it’s just…..I feel so guilty!” Yunho burst out, tears starting to run down his face. He sank to the floor and Sungmin followed him, concerned.
“Yunho?”
“I wanted to blame someone, other than myself,” Yunho whispered, not aware of Sungmin’s presence anymore. “You were the easiest target. But it was me…it was really me who killed Jaejoong,” Yunho raised his head and stared at Sungmin, his tears splattering onto the kitchen floor.
“What do you mean?” Sungmin asked.
“I was looking off in another direction. I forgot about two gunmen on the other side of me. I heard a gunshot, Jaejoong scream and then I was pushed really hard. Jaejoong took the bullet for me. If I had been more observant….he wouldn’t have had to save me…..and he would still be here….” Yunho dissolved into sobs at the end. Sungmin wrapped his arms around the younger male and hugged him gently.
“It’s okay. He wanted to protect you. He knew what he was doing,” Sungmin whispered.
“I’m sorry,” Yunho mumbled.
“It’s okay. I forgave you already,” Sungmin smiled. Kyuhyun, watching secretly from the doorway grinned. Everything worked out. None of them saw the figure in the window. None of them saw the figure slip around of the side of the house either.
~₴~≠~₴~≠~
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