Jiwon had been kind and caring for about five days after he had come back. As soon as those five days were over, the abusive, cold Jiwon had returned bringing back Sungmin’s longing to get away from where he was. The cycle had started again but Sungmin still did not realize this.
“Sungmin! Why the fuck are you taking so long? We need to be at the party in twenty minutes! Move your ass!” Jiwon yelled from the front hall. Sungmin stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He never thought he looked good in a tuxedo but Jiwon liked the look of him in a tux.
“I’m coming Jiwonnie,” Sungmin replied tiredly. He gave his hair one final brush before walking out the bathroom door. He couldn’t postpone it any longer. He walked to where Jiwon was and tried not to flinch when Jiwon wrapped his arm around him in a controlling manner. He was marched out to Jiwon’s car this way and pushed mercilessly inside.
“We’re going to a business party hosted by my company. I want you to make a good impression. So don’t screw up!” Jiwon instructed as they were driving to the party’s location. Sungmin nodded quietly. Jiwon looked annoyed, “Do you understand? Answer me!”
“I’ll make a good impression,” Sungmin answered softly. His mind was living five days in the past when he woke up in Kyuhyun’s apartment. It was the memory of that time that kept him from breaking. In the very depths of his heart, Sungmin wished that he could see Kyuhyun for just a second and calm down in Kyuhyun’s soothing presence.
Jiwon parked the car and got out, walked around to Sungmin’s side and opened the door for him. Sungmin got out and thanked Jiwon. From an observer’s point of view, they looked like a happy couple. Sungmin placed his hand on Jiwon’s proffered arm and the two of them walked into the venue together.
“Jiwon-sshi! I’m glad you could make it. And this must be your lover. How do you do?” A rather tall man came to stand in front of them. Jiwon smiled at him and raised his hand in greeting.
“Hello, Seunghyun! Yes, this is Lee Sungmin,” Jiwon nudged Sungmin forwards.
“How do you do?” Sungmin whispered, bowing politely. Seunghyun looked at him.
“He’s a quiet one. But he looks cute. Jiyong, come over here!” Seunghyun turned to motion to another man on the edge of the party who was trying to force someone to drink something.
“Yes?” Jiyong chirped as he got to them. Seunghyun placed a caring arm around Jiyong’s waist and brought him close.
“This is my lover, Kwon Jiyong,” Seunghyun introduced him. Jiyong smiled brightly at all of them.
“Hey! I’m Kwon Jiyong but you can call me G-Dragon!” Jiyong re-introduced himself.
“G-Dragon?” Sungmin asked questioningly. Jiwon dug his fingers into his back and he knew that he had made a mistake. He immediately shut up in hopes of not saying anything else stupid.
“It’s his favourite nickname,” Seunghyun explained, “The ‘G’ comes from the first part of his name, ‘Ji’ and Yong is dragon. It’s the English version of his name.”
“How unique,” Jiwon said approvingly. Jiyong looked at him and then Sungmin.
“Seunghyunnie, I’m gonna take Sungmin over there to meet Taeyang. Do you mind?” Jiyong asked.
“Just don’t kill him, Jiyongie,” Seunghyun answered affectionately. He bent down and kissed Jiyong fully. Sungmin envied them. They were in a perfectly good relationship.
“Just don’t miss me too much!” Jiyong responded. Sungmin smiled slightly. They were a lovey dovey couple like Kangin and Eeteuk. His heart ached remembering them. Even though he had met Eeteuk in the grocery store five days ago, he missed them and his previous life even more than before.
He was utterly surprised when Jiwon brought him into a hug and kissed the side of his neck.
“Behave, Sungminnie-baby,” Jiwon said. Sungminnie-baby? Since when has this been a nickname for me?” Sungmin wondered. Then he remembered. It was all an act. He didn’t question it. It was nice to receive some affection from Jiwon.
“I will!” Sungmin replied, sounding happier than he had in days. If only Jiwon understood that when he showed Sungmin love, he got happier. Then maybe Jiwon would be happier too.
Jiyong grabbed Sungmin’s wrist and dragged him through the crowd. Sungmin wondered what Jiyong wanted with him. He was pushed onto a soft couch and Jiyong plopped down next to him.
“So how long have you been with Jiwon?”
The question caught Sungmin off guard. Why would anyone want to know that? Especially if they had just met.
“Err….about three years…” Sungmin responded hesitantly. He was utterly perplexed when Jiyong frowned. Was there something unsatisfactory with what he said?
“Is he nice to you?” Jiyong asked. Sungmin flinched. He was supposed to keep up Jiwon’s image but how could he do that with a question like that? Lie? Sungmin didn’t lie. But this was Jiwon. It was funny how when you take out the “f” of life, it becomes lie. To keep up Jiwon’s image, it was lie or death.
“He’s very nice to me.”
“I don’t like him,” Jiyong announced suddenly. Sungmin blinked. Well that was rather random. Still, he was curious as to why Jiyong seemed to dislike him so strongly.
“Have you been enemies for a while?” Sungmin asked, deciding that it was his turn to ask the questions. Jiyong shook his head.
“I just met him.”
“Then why don’t you like him?”
“Do you?” Jiyong asked, turning his head sharply and staring at Sungmin. He tried not to shy away from the strong gaze.
“Of…of course I do! He’s my lover,” Sungmin tried not to let his voice tremble.
“Don’t lie to me,” Jiyong scoffed. “I can see it. You don’t like him.”
“No! No, really I do!” Sungmin protested. Then he grew angry. “What gives you the right to say something like that?” he demanded. Jiyong laughed.
“I always say what’s on my mind. It gets me into trouble sometimes.”
“Still, you shouldn’t say that about someone you’ve just met. You don’t know him,” Sungmin responded. Jiyong sent him a pitying glance.
“I do know him,” Jiyong answered. Now Sungmin was utterly confused. Didn’t Jiyong say he just meet Jiwon?
“I thought you said you just met him!”
“I did.”
“Then how could you know him?”
“I looked at you. Your face told me the whole story,” Jiyong answered simply. He reached out and touched Sungmin’s cheek, his fingers tracing the remnants of the cut he had gotten five days previously.
Out of instinct, Sungmin flinched away from the contact. He was used to being hit. Not touched gently. Jiyong nodded in confirmation.
“Does he hit you?” Jiyong asked. Sungmin nodded quietly. There was no point in trying to hide anything, Jiyong saw everything.
“Aish, I was afraid of that. Do you have friends?”
“No…Jiwon cut off contact with all of my friends,” Sungmin replied. He wasn’t sure where Jiyong was going with this but he didn’t like it.
“Sungmin, do you realize that this is an extremely vicious cycle that must be stopped?”
“….What?”
“You are in an abusive relationship. Taeyang! Come here!” Jiwon shouted over his shoulder. Sungmin raised an eyebrow. So I actuallyam going to meet this mysterious Taeyang. A male, taller than Jiyong walked over, carrying a drink in one hand and holding a boy in the other.
“What is it now, G-Dragon?” the man called Taeyang asked, half irritably, half questioningly.
“Tell Sungmin about your abusive relationship,” Jiyong instructed.
“The one I had or the one I’m currently in?” Taeyang asked before getting smacked over the head by the male in his arms. “See? Seungri is abusive!”
“You provoke me, Taeyang!” Seungri protested cutely. Jiyong rolled his eyes at the two of them.
“Cut it out, magnae, I want Sungmin to hear this!”
Unfortunately, Sungmin never got to hear the story because Jiwon suddenly yelled at the top of his lungs, for him to come over. Jiyong looked annoyed and glared in the direction of Jiwon. Sungmin got up to go to him but Jiyong stopped him.
“Find a true friend in case you ever need someone to go to. You deserve it,” Jiyong whispered. Sungmin looked questioningly at him and because it seemed the right thing to do, nodded before bowing and going back to Jiwon.
He could feel the stares of the three men he left behind on his back. Was there some grain of truth in what had just been said? Or was it simply his imagination?
“Yes, Jiwon-hyung?” Sungmin said when he got back to Jiwon’s side. The elder male did not look at him but kept his eyes on Jiyong.
“He touched your face. Are you really going to indulge in such whorish acts while you are here? He is Seunghyun’s lover! Were you trying to seduce him and get me kicked out of the company?” Jiwon hissed.
“N-n-no! I wasn’t trying to seduce anyone!” Sungmin stammered. Jiwon tapped him lightly on the side of the head. It wasn’t affectionate. Sungmin could read the action for what it really was. It was a promise. A threatening promise.
“I’ll deal with you at home. Go get our coats. We’re leaving now,” Jiwon ordered. Sungmin bowed his head in submission. He walked to where the coat check was and pulled out their tabs. He handed them to the person and waited.
“Lee Sungmin? Is that you?” The voice came from in front of him. Sungmin’s head snapped up and he looked for the source of the sound. It came from the person in front of him.
“Hankyung?!” Sungmin gasped. It had been forever since he had last seen Hankyung. This was because Hankyung had taken Heechul to China to meet his parents and learn about his home country for a year. Sungmin was gone when he had come back.
“Yeah, it’s me. Where have you been? Heechul and I got back and Eeteuk asks if you’re with us. I want you to tell me exactly what made you disappear so suddenly. You scared the crap out of all of us,” Hankyung said in a firm tone.
Sungmin had taken in almost nothing of what his friend had said. He was still in shock from seeing Hankyung in a uniform, taking people’s coats and being here in general. He blinked a couple of times to register Hankyung’s question. He remembered that day.
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Flashback
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“We’ll miss you so much! It will be a year before we see you again!” Eeteuk sobbed as Heechul and Hankyung stood in front of the departure gates. Kangin wrapped his arms around the “umma” of their group.
“The kids are going to leave eventually, Teukie,” Kangin said, perhaps in hope of bringing Eeteuk to reality. This had the opposite effect as Eeteuk cried louder. Hankyung had tears in his eyes as he hugged his friends. Sungmin smiled sadly as he watched Kibum, Yesung, Ryeowook, and the Kangteuk couple exchange hugs with Hankyung and Heechul. He moved forwards and accepted hugs from his hyungs.
“Aish, you guys make it sound like we’re leaving forever. It’s only for a year. Get a grip on yourselves,” Heechul said, trying to keep his composure but was wiping away tears of his own.
“We’ll miss you!” Sungmin cried, waving his arm in the air as the pair picked up their bags and walked towards the boarding gate. This was a very sad parting but he would see them again. Sungmin waved sadly as his friends disappeared through the boarding gates.
“Come on guys. We’ll see them in a year. Heechul has been dying for this since he brought Hankyung home to meet his parents. They’ll be fine,” Kangin reassured the group. Ryeowook nodded in the affirmative.
“Heechul won’t be able to understand anything they say,” Yesung commented. “What if they ask him to become a woman and he accidentally says yes?”
“He’ll just stay the same,” Kibum answered. “They’ll probably think he’s a woman to begin with.”
“Heechul has Hankyung. He’ll be fine,” Kangin reassured the group, while patting a bawling Eeteuk on the back.
“Don’t worry umma. They’re smart people. They’ll have a fun time and come back to us,” Ryeowook said softly, hugging their “umma”. Eeteuk sniffed and nodded, crushing Ryeowook in his arms. Yesung marched over and tugged Ryeowook out of Eeteuk’s grasp.
“He’s delicate!” Yesung exclaimed, checking Ryeowook frantically for damage. Sungmin grinned widely as he watched Yesung. The elder was completely overdoing it. He was practically molesting poor Ryeowook. The funny thing was that Ryeowook didn’t seem to mind.
“Get a room you two!” Kangin said, pointing at the pair. Sungmin laughed. He was glad that Yesung was here. He could take out the sadness of any situation and make it funny. The six of them walked out of the airport and into the car. Sungmin was thinking of seeing Jiwon when he got back.
The car trip was relatively silent as they drove back, save for Eeteuk’s sniffles and Kangin’s soft words to calm him. When they got back to their shared house, Sungmin immediately pulled out his cellphone and called Jiwon.
“Yoboseyo?”
“Jiwonnie!”
“Ah, Sungminnie! Did Hankyung and Heechul leave yet? Did Heechul cry even though he said he wouldn’t?”
“He did! Anyways, can I come over? I miss you!” Sungmin chirped happily. He relished the sound of Jiwon’s laughter on the other end.
“Sure, Minnie. I’ll be waiting for you.”
Sungmin smiled and shut his phone. He turned and looked at his friends. Eeteuk was being tickled by Kangin and Ryeowook and Yesung were taking turns to cheer him up and make him laugh.
“I’m going out okay?” Sungmin called. Eeteuk turned to look at him.
“Are you going to meet this mysterious lover of yours?” he called. Sungmin nodded happily.
“Are we ever going to see him? Tell us something about him!” Ryeowook said eagerly.
“Okay….his name’s Jiwon!” Sungmin announced before skipping out the door. He practically ran to Jiwon’s house. He knocked quickly and when the door opened he was greeted with a loving hug. Sungmin smiled. He allowed himself to be steered towards the living room where Jiwon immediately ignited a loving but passionate make out session.
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“Sungmin, I wanted to ask you something,” Jiwon said as they were sitting down to dinner. Sungmin picked up his chopsticks and nodded.
“Ask away, Jiwon-hyung!”
“I wanted to ask you if you would move in with me,” Jiwon said tentatively. Sungmin paused with a piece of chicken halfway to his mouth.
“I…I don’t know…” Sungmin began. He felt so happy that Jiwon loved him enough to allow him into his house. Jiwon placed his hand on top of his.
"Please? I know it’s been only four months but you would make me so happy!”
“It’s just that…my umma…might not want me to,” Sungmin said. “Believe me! I want to but…two of us just left and I’m not sure he could take the news.”
“You could just leave and not tell anyone.”
“What?” Sungmin raised his eyebrows. Just leave? It might work. His ‘umma and appa’ would assume he had left to visit his parents. They wouldn’t be sad. Sungmin smiled.
“I’ll do it,” Sungmin smiled at Jiwon. His hyung smiled at him and embraced him warmly.
“I’ll meet you outside your house three days from now at twelve o’clock tonight okay? That will give you time to get all your belongings together.”
Sungmin nodded, “Okay.”
For three days, he was extra loving and cute with his ‘family’. Ryeowook had been hugged multiple times and Sungmin had received countless jealous expressions from Yesung. He didn’t care. He simply bounded over to Yesung and glomped him.
Eeteuk was on the receiving end of so many cute expressions, he later stated he never wanted to see anything cute again. Kangin merely raised an eyebrow every time Sungmin tried something. Still, he didn’t care. He just continued hugging Kangin and acting cute.
That night, as his roommates were asleep, Sungmin grabbed his bags and snuck out through the living room window. He met Jiwon in the car and the two of them drove off together. Sungmin didn’t realize he had forgotten his cellphone until it was too late. Three days after Heechul and Hankyung left, Eeteuk also lost another member of his family.
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End Flashback
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Sungmin smiled somewhat bitterly. It had seemed so romantic and exciting at the time. He didn’t realize it would change suddenly. Still, he loved Jiwon and it was his fault that things turned out this way. It was something he had done.
“Care to explain the reason you left? We got back and the place was in an uproar. Yewook told us that you had left a year ago. Eeteuk was crying every night because he thought you were dead or something. Kangin was worried sick. Ryeowook was afraid to go anywhere without Yesung in case he disappeared too,” Hankyung glared at Sungmin.
He flinched. He had seen that look on Jiwon too many times. To see it on Hankyung was worse.
“I’m sorry.”
Now Sungmin knew why Jiwon beat him so often. It was karma; it was karma’s way of paying him back for leaving without saying anything. Sungmin knew it was his fault. It was always his fault.
“Are you okay, Sungmin? You look really…..defeated,” Hankyung said, a worried tone coming into his voice. Sungmin laughed bitterly.
“Do I? I’m sorry for worrying you all. I met Eeteuk in a grocery store the other day. I think he forgave me for leaving so abruptly. Kangin was there too but I didn’t see him. I didn’t mean to worry you all. I assumed you’d think I was with my parents,” Sungmin answered. Hankyung scoffed.
“Why on earth would we think that? You never left a note saying you would be there. We tried calling your cellphone, only to discover it under your bed. Then, a year after we get back, Eunhyuk calls, saying that you called him and wanted to talk. He said you had to hang up quickly and he was positive you were being exploited or forced to work for someone. That’s when Eeteuk was certain you had been kidnapped,” Hankyung explained.
“I haven’t been kidnapped. What are you doing here?” Sungmin asked.
“I work at this venue. It’s usually used for weddings. Eeteuk is going to have his wedding here. Are you coming?”
Sungmin opened his mouth to answer but caught sight of Jiwon outside, glaring at him. He trembled and picked up the coats. Hankyung noticed this and wondered why Sungmin looked so afraid. He was about to address this when Sungmin ran away.
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Hankyung watched Sungmin run away and quickly pulled out his cellphone.
“Eeteuk? I’ve just seen Sungmin. He’s alive and well. He says he met you at the grocery store the other day.”
“Yeah, we saw each other. How does he look? Sungminnie-baby looks changed, don’t you think?”
“I agree with you, umma. He doesn’t look the same. Something happened to him and I don’t think it’s a good thing. We need to find out what happened. I’ll be by in twenty minutes.” Hankyung closed his phone.
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I should have expected this, Sungmin thought as a foot collided with his shin. It was always the same. A punch caught him in the side of the face and Sungmin tasted his blood. Jiwon had neglected to remove his rings, causing multiple scratches and cuts over Sungmin’s body.
“How dare you act that way! Do I need to watch you constantly? Do you understand what it would have meant for me if Seunghyun knew you were seducing his lover? My reputation is at stake! Do you understand what pain you cause me when I see you have eyes for someone else?!” Jiwon shouted.
Sungmin whimpered as Jiwon backhanded him, his head slamming into the floor and stars appearing. He was certain that there was a nicely shaped bruise on his shin and a fair sized gash on his arm.
“I wasn’t doing anything like that!” Sungmin gasped out. “I would never do anything like that to you! I love you!”
“Liar!” Jiwon hissed and ran his rings down Sungmin’s left arm, creating long scratches. Does Jiwon purposely keep his rings on?Sungmin wondered dully as he was flipped into his back and Jiwon brought his foot down on Sungmin’s spine. Sungmin screamed. He lay there, panting and shivering as Jiwon stepped back and surveyed him.
“You are going to go to Seunghyun and apologize for what you did to Jiyong. If Seunghyun asks what happened to you, you will say that you met a gang on the way and they attacked you. Do you understand?”
Sungmin didn’t reply as fast as Jiwon would have liked. He was too busy trying to catch his breath and block out the pain so he could respond.
“Do you understand?!” Jiwon yelled, kicking Sungmin again as punishment.
“I-I-I understand!” Sungmin cried, trying desperately to stop his tears from falling. Jiwon nodded in approval.
“Go.”
“Wh-what? Now?”
“Yes now! My image depends on this! What, did you think I meant next week? He lives at 34 Jaeyang Road. Make it snappy!”
Painfully, Sungmin picked himself up and walked out the door. It was better to obey than to fight. Jiwon could get pretty angry. He walked down the street, his injuries making it hard to walk fast.
Why now of all times? He had no idea if he was even heading in the right direction. His vision was hazy and his body reluctant to move. He would never make it to Seunghyun’s house. How could he?
Sungmin started to tear up when he realized he could not fulfill Jiwon’s wish. He felt disgusted with himself and immediately wished he was stronger. No wonder Jiwon beat him so much. He deserved it.
Blinking blearily, Sungmin spotted a payphone on the opposite side of the road. Hurrying across the road, he took out a few coins and pushed them into the slot. He then pulled out a piece of paper that he had been carrying since it was given to him. He dialled the number quickly and waited as the phone rang on the other end of the line.
"Yeboseyo?”
“Kyuhyun-ah? It’s me, Sungmin. I don’t want to be a burden but could you come and pick me up?” Sungmin looked at his surroundings. He was on the other side of the street facing the grocery store that Kyuhyun worked at. “I’m opposite to the grocery store where you work,” Sungmin informed him, his voice getting weaker.
“Sungmin…? Oh! Sungmin-hyung! Yes, I can come and pick you up. Don’t move from where you are, okay? Are you hurt?”
“I’d rather not-” Sungmin was cut off.
“Never mind. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Be careful, okay?”
“Okay.”
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Kyuhyun closed his cellphone and jumped up from the dining room table. He had no idea why he was so eager to go and get Sungmin (who he had thought about since leaving him and tried to figure out what was wrong with him) who he had known for only a day. Something inside of him was urging him to help the elder.
He ran to the apartment garage and jumped into his car. He revved the engine and sped out of the garage, his tires squealing. Ten minutes later, he found Sungmin leaning on a lamppost for support.
Anger burned inside of him as he looked at the poor boy. How dare anyone do this to his Sungmin? Wait a moment. His Sungmin? Since when had that taken place? Kyuhyun shook his head, wondering what possessed him to help Sungmin. He had known him for only a day and still knew only his name.
He only showed affection to those he had known forever. What changed with this one? He helped Sungmin into his car and took note of all the wounds to him. Whatever had happened, Sungmin had gotten the worst of it. Kyuhyun was determined to get answers.
That would have to wait. Right now, his Sungmin needed to be cared for. Kyuhyun sped back to his apartment. Secretly, he liked that he thought of Sungmin as his. He didn’t know why.
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